watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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