he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
