So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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