porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
