I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Randomize
