nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
