when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
