So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
