chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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