my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
