I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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