Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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