He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
