Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
