508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
