is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
