By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
