somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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