He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
