I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
