I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
