I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
