I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
It's shark week go big or go home
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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