nut hugger
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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