i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
