Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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