woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
