If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
