I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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