i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
As shirtless as possible
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
