bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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