the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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