Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
