I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
