Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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