matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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