Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize