Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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