i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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