Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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