Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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