May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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