dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize