This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I am spending my child support on dildos
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
