Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
