Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
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You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
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its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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