super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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