you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
