sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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