I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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