Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
