you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
