so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
