the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
