Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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