who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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