The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
