There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
