This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Randomize
