After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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