Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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